8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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