He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize