There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My dick has a subreddit
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
