She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize