just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
