Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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