I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
now i know why i became what i already was.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
