and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
