i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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