I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
