Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
