You really coming over, don't trick.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize