Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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