Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
