So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
