Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
