I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
They took my balls.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
