Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
