I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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