and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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