and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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