am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
