Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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