my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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