Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
