Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
No subtext here. People are naked.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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