I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize