I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
