she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
