I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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