I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
