Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
