Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
