Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
