i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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