Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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