So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
