Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
