Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
