i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize