I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
