He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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