I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
