omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
how does that bad decision feel?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
