he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
