Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I will pee on everything he values.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
