Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
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