If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
