I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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