this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
