Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
