Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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