I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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