I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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