haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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