I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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