he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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