the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
