I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Can I color on your dick again?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
