just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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