My liver just broke up with me...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
