Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize